On May 11, 2014, I had a friend over to watch a movie and have a few drinks. As the night progressed, he invited a friend over. Later the friend I had invited over got sick so I told him to go to his room and sleep. His friend tried to stay. After being uncomfortable for a bit, I told him he should go check on our friend. He looked upset, but left. Shortly after, he came in through my window (I was living on the first floor of my barracks) and raped me.

My platoon sergeant had been calling me at the time and heard it happen. He came to check on me, but just missed the guy. He said he had to report it, but I was scared to. I knew how people in my unit thought. But I reported it anyway, went to the hospital and did the safe exam. CID did a horrible job collecting evidence. CID left the dress I was wearing, baby wipes my assailant used on me afterwards, a condom wrapper, and the dress I was wearing.

It’s been 3 months and CID is still investigating. When I made a statement, the agent was so rude. The agent asked me questions like, “Are you sure he heard you say no?” CID told me they could not make my assailant switch barracks, so I ended up becoming severely depressed and was admitted to an in-patient at an acute hospital. When the hospital was ready to release me, the medical staff met with my unit. Our acting commander said that when I leave, I needed to get right on a bus and go to JROTC myself. My therapist and doctor told the acting commander that I needed to do the outpatient treatment and continue to get help. My acting commander refused and said if I don’t go to JROTC, I needed to stay in the hospital until my unit returned. My first sergeant told me I could not switch units until the investigation was completed. I spent 35 days inside that hospital.

When I came back to my unit, the nightmares and flashbacks were worse, so I was moved right across the street. When I first reported these, my acting commander and first sergeant told me I needed to get over it and that everyone is dealing with things and they’re fine, so I should be, too. My acting commander and first sergeant started treating me differently and finding any excuse to reprimand me. For instance, on the day we had a 7-mile run, I let them know I had just started a new medicine and I’d try my best to keep up, but I was feeling dizzy. I ended up falling a little bit behind and was pending an Article 15 for it.

The new barracks I was moved me into is male dominated and has co-ed floors once again. I do not feel as if the Army cares or is accepting of the fact that I need help. I have no control over what happens to me because of what another soldier did to me.