***Trigger Warning***

I grew up in foster care. Adopted age 12. When I turned 17, my adopted mom had me get my GED and took me to enlist in the Navy.

I was sent to Company KO29 Orlando Florida Boot Camp.

After graduation Ceremony, I went to the enlisted men’s club on base with a fellow enlisted member. She was there with her family. I only remember 2 men approaching me and offering to get me a drink. Being only 17, I remember stating a coke would be nice.

That’s the last I remember that day until I became concious with someone raping me. I was feeling drugged and scared. I was allowed to get dressed and ran out the door. I remember it was like a small room wih a bathroom, much like a motel room is set up. I knew I was still on base because of the buildings and sidewalks.

I was shocked to see it was no longer sunny outside. It was dark and I had no idea what time it was. Still lost, I ran into a group of people from my command that recognised me. I remember them asking me if I was okay. They assumed I was drunk and I was too scared to tell anyone I was raped because at that time, I didn’t even understand why I could not remember how I even lost all time with no memory of how I ended up where I was.

The Company Commander was inside a room checkin us back in. I know she too thought I was drunk. I wasn’t. I was still very druged feeling and just wanted to go to get into the shower. But, I was too druged to even get up off the floor to go to my bed to sleep. I wanted that night to end.

My adopted parents were super religious and I remembered how they treated me a few years prior when I was sexually assaulted by someone in the church. So, being young and dumb, I felt it better to keep my mouth shut.

I was sent to Millington, TN for A school. I was allowed to drink on and off base with my military ID. While there, I was called into an office one day. The enlisted man there questioned me extensvely on personal matters. When I asked him why the non military questioning, he respnded, “I was being inerviewed to be a stewardess to the “USA President plane.” He then left the room and a while later, came back, visibly upset to learn I was only 17. He litterally was freaked out I was only 17. He told me to go and that I was too young to serve as a stewardess to the President. It was all vey strange then and now.

While in Millington, TN, I realized I was pregnated by whomever raped me in Orlando Boot Camp. I miscarried and I drank a whole bottle of some over the counter medicine and attempted to kill myself. I was living off base with another female enlistedman. She came home and found me when I missed class. The neighbor came over whom was also acve duty and took me to the base ER. Everyone thought I accidently overdosed from the medicine. I did it on purpose though. I was a hot mess. I ended up dating the man that saved my life.

I transfered to AIMD North Island, CA. Not long after arriving, I learned I was pregnant. At 5 months pregnant, the guy I was dating flew out and we got married. Not long after, I delivered rematurely in a bloody mess all over the San Diego Miltry Hospital room floor. I was rushed into surgery for a DNC to stop the hemorrhaging. I ended up trying to drink my nightmare life away and was sent to drinking rehabiliaton the base offered. I was transferred to VF126 Mirimar, CA not long after loosing that baby.

Keeping rape bottled up causes a person to self destruct. I ended up going AWOL to my husband now stationed in Goose Creek, SC submarine station. I lost another pregnancy and was mentally spiraling out of control. I was pregnant once again when I was picked up for being AWOL. I spent a short stint in the San Diego Federal Prison that realized I was high risk pregnancy and sent me back to San Diego Military Hospital.

There I learned I had a broken cervix that was the reason for all my miscarriages. They did a McDonald’s Cerclage. After my surgery, A Navy Legal officer came to my room. He told me not to talk to any press and to agree to a BCD discharge. If I agree to the BCD at a Special Court Martial, my discharge would be upgraded to an Honorable Discharge after 6 months. I never got any answer to why anyone from the press would want to speak to me. So, I agreed.

The day before my hearing, a nurse came to my room and told me I had a phone call I had to answer because whom ever was calling the phone in the hallway won’t stop calling until they speak to me. I told her my lawyer told me I wasn’t to talk to anyone. She was highly rude to me and demanding I go to the phone. Still young, dumb and even scared of this woman, I did as she commanded.

When I answered the phone, it was someone stating they were from some San Diego Press paper. I told whom ever it was that my atorney advised me not to talk to anyone and stop calling. I had nothing to say. I hung up the phone and went back to my room.
The next day, I was taken to my hearing. My military appointed atorney was there. He was upset with me. He wanted to know why I disobeyed his order not to talk to the press. I told him what happened and told him I didn’t say anthing to the press. He informed me the press had published something about me in the aper. I never saw what they published or stated. Whatever they said, I know didn’t come from my mouth.

The judge at the hearing wanted to know how many miscarriages I had. That’s pretty much all I remember about the hearing.
I was taken to the base after the hearing. My husband and I had split due to no fault of his. I litterally lost myself when I learned I was pregnant before being picked up in Charleston. I dreaded and lived in the fearful knowledge I was going to also loose this pregnancy like every other one before. Before being picked up, I had met a woman who had a brother. I feared him. But, my life had spiraled beyond belief, I did as he said out of fear of having the hell beat out of me if I did not obey. He knew I was pregnant when he met me. I was residing with his family when I was picked up. I informed him I had my hearing, was discharged and had to stay in California until my paperwoek was processed. He informed me he had arranged for me to fly back to Charleston and I had better be on that plane. His logic that I was discharged and they could mail me my papers made sense to me. So, I flew back.

Young and dumb, I got picked back up again. Sent briefly to the brigg on Charleston Navy Base. A couple of days later, I was released to go home.

I delivered my daughter at the Charleston Navy Hospital.

I never saw my DD214 until 2007 or 2009. I can’t remember the exact date. I was shocked to learn it was not changed to Honorable as the Navy Lawyer said it would be.

It reads: BCD Special Court Martial JJD.

I sent a request for an upgrade. In 2009 I believe it was, I received a response of needing somehing missing from my request. After a couple of inquiry phone calls local base here in Charleston. The person on the other end of the phone told me it has been longer than 1 years since my discharge and I can’t have it upgraded.

It is what it is. Life is life.

Sexual assualt and sexual harrassment in the military is not what our service women should ever have to endure. It took me half my life to put myself back together again emotionally. It did teach me how to educate and become a strong woman today. I love my country. But, I don’t believe anyone under the age of 21 should ever be allowed to join the military. Young women are easy prey for seasoned military perverts.

I wish I had searched long ago about the sexual assaults of female recruits. I am happy I found this page. I have kept this bottled up inside me for decades thinking I was the only person this happened to.

I am horrificly saddened to learne it has happened to so many ohers though.

I know the self destruction it caused in my life. It breaks my heart so many others have to live with this too. It wasn’t enough to suffer from the rape. We have to suffer the rest of our lives with the stigmatism of our discharge labling too.